Husband to wife: "There's only one problem with our idea of spending to beat inflation - we're broke."
Young boy to father: "If you did'nt plan to buy me a dog, why did you ever have me in the first place?"
********************
A rheumatism patient arrived at a highly recommended spa. He asked the manager, "Are the waters
here so benificial? Can I hope to feel better afterwards?" "Do you want an example?" asked the
manager. "Last summer an old man came here so stiff that needed a wheelchair to get around. After a
month of treatment he skipped off on a bicycle without paying his bills."
*********************
In his early days, the painter Van Dongen had a model pose in nude in his unheated studio. In an hour
the poor girl, frozen stiff, complained, "Monsieur Van Dongen, it's cold in here!"
"So it is," said the painter. "I did'nt notice." And put on his overcoat.
*********************
The trouble with giving advice is people want to repay you.
**********************
"Do you pray before every meal?" a boy was asked.
"No," he said. "My mother's a good cook."
**********************
Job advertisement in The Brisbane, Austalia, Sunday Mail: "Lad required for part time work in
aquarium. Can live in if necessary."
**********************
From a parish magazine in Elizabeth, South Australia: "The ladies have made blankets for the needy.
More blankets and more ladies are needed to provide warmth during winter nights."
**********************
Films keep getting more explicit: these days a 'Family film' is likely to show you how to start one.
**********************
A man came furiously to a bakery & demanded to see the owner. When actually confronted with the
little man as the owner, he pointed to the packet of bread he was carrying & said, "I brought this
bread this morning & its already stale." Embarassed the owner explained, "I've been baking bread
since fifteen years", to which the furious costomer interrupted, "You shouldn't have waited so long to
sell it."
Young boy to father: "If you did'nt plan to buy me a dog, why did you ever have me in the first place?"
********************
A rheumatism patient arrived at a highly recommended spa. He asked the manager, "Are the waters
here so benificial? Can I hope to feel better afterwards?" "Do you want an example?" asked the
manager. "Last summer an old man came here so stiff that needed a wheelchair to get around. After a
month of treatment he skipped off on a bicycle without paying his bills."
*********************
In his early days, the painter Van Dongen had a model pose in nude in his unheated studio. In an hour
the poor girl, frozen stiff, complained, "Monsieur Van Dongen, it's cold in here!"
"So it is," said the painter. "I did'nt notice." And put on his overcoat.
*********************
The trouble with giving advice is people want to repay you.
**********************
"Do you pray before every meal?" a boy was asked.
"No," he said. "My mother's a good cook."
**********************
Job advertisement in The Brisbane, Austalia, Sunday Mail: "Lad required for part time work in
aquarium. Can live in if necessary."
**********************
From a parish magazine in Elizabeth, South Australia: "The ladies have made blankets for the needy.
More blankets and more ladies are needed to provide warmth during winter nights."
**********************
Films keep getting more explicit: these days a 'Family film' is likely to show you how to start one.
**********************
A man came furiously to a bakery & demanded to see the owner. When actually confronted with the
little man as the owner, he pointed to the packet of bread he was carrying & said, "I brought this
bread this morning & its already stale." Embarassed the owner explained, "I've been baking bread
since fifteen years", to which the furious costomer interrupted, "You shouldn't have waited so long to
sell it."
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