Computer Conversation Very Funny

Husband (Returning late from work ) : "Good Evening
Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife: Have you brought the grocery ?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found..
Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do
some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or
are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot
like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife: You are a useless nut.
Husband: By Default
Wife: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use... Try after some time.
Wife: Who was in the car this morning?
Husband: System is unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to
Reboot.
Wife: Are you going to drink some wine?
Husband: File system is full.
Wife: What is my value in the family ?
Husband: Unknown Virus.

Joke 2

Husband to wife: "There's only one problem with our idea of spending to beat inflation - we're broke."


Young boy to father: "If you did'nt plan to buy me a dog, why did you ever have me in the first place?"


********************


A rheumatism patient arrived at a highly recommended spa. He asked the manager, "Are the waters


here so benificial? Can I hope to feel better afterwards?" "Do you want an example?" asked the


manager. "Last summer an old man came here so stiff that needed a wheelchair to get around. After a


month of treatment he skipped off on a bicycle without paying his bills."


*********************


In his early days, the painter Van Dongen had a model pose in nude in his unheated studio. In an hour


the poor girl, frozen stiff, complained, "Monsieur Van Dongen, it's cold in here!"


"So it is," said the painter. "I did'nt notice." And put on his overcoat.


*********************


The trouble with giving advice is people want to repay you.


**********************


"Do you pray before every meal?" a boy was asked.


"No," he said. "My mother's a good cook."


**********************


Job advertisement in The Brisbane, Austalia, Sunday Mail: "Lad required for part time work in


aquarium. Can live in if necessary."


**********************


From a parish magazine in Elizabeth, South Australia: "The ladies have made blankets for the needy.


More blankets and more ladies are needed to provide warmth during winter nights."


**********************


Films keep getting more explicit: these days a 'Family film' is likely to show you how to start one.


**********************


A man came furiously to a bakery & demanded to see the owner. When actually confronted with the


little man as the owner, he pointed to the packet of bread he was carrying & said, "I brought this


bread this morning & its already stale." Embarassed the owner explained, "I've been baking bread


since fifteen years", to which the furious costomer interrupted, "You shouldn't have waited so long to


sell it."

Joke 1

- God is real, unless declared an integer.

- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

- Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

- Home is where the television is.

- Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

- Death is hereditary.

- Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

- Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

- When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

- Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

- Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone

else..

- Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

- Well done is better than well said.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is

looking.

- They say hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the chance.

- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

- I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

- If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

- Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

- The light at the end of the tunnel may be the headlamp of an approaching

train.

- Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

- I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.

- Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

- Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things

that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.

- The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',

and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

- There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and thea

right side.

- An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it

sound confusing.

Bruce lee

Bruce Lee's Bio-data

1) What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable?

Ans: Mu Lee

2) What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch?

Ans: Tha Lee

3) What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over ?

Ans: Kha Lee

4)  What did Bruce Lee have for lunch?

Ans: Id Lee

6) Bruce Lee's favorite Actress

Ans: Sona lee

7) Bruce Lee's favorite Music

Ans: Qawa lee

8) What is Bruce Lee's most interesting job?

Ans: Coo Lee

9) When did Bruce Lee die?

Ans: Final Lee

10) How did Bruce Lee die?

Ans: With a Go Lee

11) What is Bruce Lee's favorite hill station

Ans: Kulu Mana Lee

12) What is Bruce Lee's nick name?

Ans: Mawa Lee

13) What is Bruce Lee's favorite Hindi movie?

Ans: Gharwa LEE Baharwa LEE

14) Who is Bruce Lee's favourite cricketer?

Ans: Saurav Gangu Lee

Tongue Twisters

Have fun pronouncing it!

Let's see how good you can twist your tongue.But be careful

not to get your tongue twisted by the tongue

twister.OK.Enjoy and pass to those that think they have fantastic

tongue. Start.....!

_______________________________________________________

Peter bought a butter, The butter Peter bought was bitter,

So Peter Bought A better butter, To make the bitter butter

better.

_______________________________________________________

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Did Peter

Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a

peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers

Peter Piper picked?

_______________________________________________________

Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

_______________________________________________________

A big black bug bit a big black bear,made the big black

bear bleed blood.

_______________________________________________________

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

_______________________________________________________

Pope Sixtus VI's six texts.

_______________________________________________________

 

Male and Female money withdraw

Hi ,

>Here is a Simple thing....Going to Bank.....How a male and female act upon
>this situation....hope u would enjoy this....
>Men:
>1. Drive to the bank, park, go to the Cash Dispenser
>2. Insert card
>3. Dial code and desired amount
>4. Take the cash, the card and the slip
>
>Women:
>1. Drive to the bank
>2. Engine stalled
>3. Check make-up in the mirror
>4. Apply perfume
>5. Manually check haircut
>6. Park the car - failure>7. Park the car - failure
>8. Park the car - Success
>9. Search for the card in the handbag
>10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
>11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
>12. Look for bank card
>13. Insert Card
>14. Look for Box (where secret code written) in Handbag
>15. Enter code
>16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
>17. #Cancel#
>18. Re-enter code
>19. #Cancel#
>20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct code
>21. Enter desired amount
>22. #Error#
>23. Enter bigger amount
>24. #Error#
>25. Enter maximum amount
>26. Cross fingers
>27. Take cash
>28. Go back to the car
>29. Check make up in rear mirror
>30. Look for keys in handbag
>31. Start car
>32. Drive 50 meters
>33. STOP
>34. Drive back to bank machine
>35. Go out of the car
>36. Take card and slip back from machine
>37. Go back to the car
>38. Throw card on passenger seat
>39. Throw slip on the floor
>40. Check make up in rear mirror
>41. Manually check haircut
>42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
>43. BREAK
>44. Go into roundabout - right way
>45. Drive 5 kilometers
>46. Remove hand break

Think differently

>> > > > Take a break... this is a good one... think different....
>> > > > 
>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > > >
>> > > > Guess the word.
>> > > >
>> > > > 1. man
>> > > > ------------
>> > > > board
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = man overboard
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 2. stand
>> > > > ------------
>> > > > i
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = I understand
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = reading between the lines
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 4. r
>> > > >   road
>> > > >    a
>> > > >    d
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = cross road

  >> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 5. cycle
>> > > >    cycle
>> > > >    cycle
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = tricycle
>> > > >
> > > >
>> > > > 6.
>> > > >  t
>> > > >  o
>> > > >  w
>> > > >  n
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = downtown
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 7.
>> > > > le /
>> > > > / vel
>> > > > /
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = split level
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 8 . 0
>> > > > ------------
>> > > > M.D.
>> > > > Ph.D.
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = two degrees below zero
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 9. knee
>> > > > ------------
>> > > > light
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 10. ii ii
>> > > >   ---------
>> > > >     O  O
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = circles under the eyes
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 11. dice
>> > > >     dice
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = paradise
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 12. t
>> > > >     o
>> > > >     u
>> > > >     c
>> > > >     h
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = touchdown
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 13. ground
>> > > > ---------------
>> > > > feet
>> > > > feet
>> > > > feet
>> > > > feet
>> > > > feet
>> > > > feet
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = six feet underground
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 14. he's / himself
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = he's by himself
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 15. ecnalg
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = backward glance
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 16. death / life
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. = life after death
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 17 THINK
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. think big !!
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > 18 ababaaabbbb....
>> > > >
> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Ans. long time ,no 'c'(see)
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >